As I continue the process of researching homeschooling (nearly to death), I have made a conscious effort to kind of get in the homeschool mindset. We did some rearranging in the lower level of the house to add a computer for the boys, as well as upgraded them from a little-kid craft area to an actual table and chairs as well as storage for craft supplies, workbooks, library books & part of our own book collection.

Tate is in morning kindergarten, and I’d gotten in a pretty bad habit over the winter of  letting him spend entirely too much of his afternoon in front of the TV. Tate can be sort of grumpy and stubborn, and I can be kind of lazy & soft, so I just hadn’t really made the effort to come up with a better strategy.  So, in the interest of improving that situation as well as doing a little “practice” homeschooling, I’ve made some changes.

There is now NO TV after kindergarten. He does get some TV time, but it has to wait until after big brother gets home from school (only fair, right?). Strangely, he has had absolutely ZERO complaints about this rule. (You know it’s bad when the six year old is like “yeah, ok – i get it – enough is enough!”). Anyway, I pulled out a K>1 bridge workbook I had laying around from a few years ago and pulled out some pages. So we’ve been using Starfall for reading (which he really seems to enjoy), doing some workbook pages (which he initially complained about but ended up asking for more), and craft projects.

Tate is pretty fantastic at pulling out all the craft supplies and just going to town making something. Today he made a baseball guy out of some foam sheeting, pipe cleaners & tape with very little assistance from me.

At this point, I’m fighting off feelings of guilt about all the time we wasted this winter. The one thing we do struggle with (and the one thing that I kept trying over and over this winter) is that he doesn’t usually want me to read to him during the day. At night he loves it, since it’s a means of delaying sleep, but it’s a struggle during the day. HOWEVER, I have discovered that if I read to him while he is eating lunch or having a snack, he adores it and can’t get enough. I think in his mind, reading is a “waste of time”, and so if he can do it while he’s doing something else, then we’re being more efficient. As a person who LOVES efficiency, I can kind of appreciate this attitude.

In addition to the changes I’ve made with Tate, I’ve instituted a Family Word of the Day. Each morning I’m choosing a word to write on the chalkboard downstairs. I am trying to make them easy enough for Tate to read (with maybe a little help), yet fun and interesting for all of us. I created a notebook called “The Book of Words” in which we’ll have a page for each day where one of the boys will enter the date, the word of the day, definition, synonyms & antonyms. So far we have done: conserve, timid, and vile.

So, basically this week I’m feeling like a supermom and totally making up for the last…SEVERAL…months of being a total slacker. I’m also seeing how much Tate enjoys learning in a way that I haven’t seen for a while.

I feel like I’ve nearly decided we’re going to do this, but I’m completely afraid to just bite the bullet and make the commitment. Probably because I know I don’t have to and can back out at the last minute. And I do have moments where I think about our school and the fact that I’d be pulling high performing kids out of a good school with a community of people I really like and I wonder what the hell I’m thinking. But then I remember what the hell I’m thinking and I’m back on board. I just HAVE to try this. I know I will absolutely regret it if I don’t.

I have to say, this kind of stuff is what I dreamed about doing with my kids. But the fact is, when they were little, I just didn’t have the energy for it. I tend to be a pretty anxious (and kind of lazy…did I mention that already?) person, and up until now I just couldn’t even fathom it. But now, I’m SO EXCITED about it. I do want to give it some time over the summer – practice a little and see how it goes. Anyone who knows me knows my tendency to lose interest in projects quickly, but I don’t see that happening here. This isn’t really a project, it’s a total change in lifestyle. You can be sure I’ll keep you posted on how the practice and the decision making is going…

The idea of making this leap is feeling less scary every day. Each time I speak with another friend who home schools, it helps to allay my fears that this is a completely crazy idea.

The fact is, I’ve made “crazy” parenting decisions in the past. Decisions that weren’t mainstream, but were embraced by others who parent their children intentionally and with careful consideration. And I haven’t regretted any of those decisions yet. Obviously, I’m not saying people who make different or mainstream decisions aren’t parenting intentionally, I’m just saying that GOOD decisions can sometimes look like CRAZY ones.

As I get closer to making a decision, I am focusing more closely on the “cons”, both known and theoretical. And while it’s easy to get caught up on those, I need to remember that there are pros and cons to every choice, and it’s the cons of what we’re doing now that have brought me to contemplate this in the first place.  Attending last night’s PTO meeting made me feel a little sad and panicky about the idea of disconnecting from our school community. But I know that even if we detach from the school completely, we have connections with so many families within a mile of  our house that worrying about feeling closed off is just not reasonable. And the fact is, our school has been in such a state of transition (we will have our 5th principal in 5 years next year, 10 teachers retiring) that we’re not exactly leaving a super stable environment.

I do have some guilt about being one of the few active families leaving a large, diverse, in-flux school community. But I just don’t think this is the kind of situation where I feel like I am willing to make a sacrifice for the greater good.  In fact, I think this is part of the problem with public education – some kids’ needs are sacrificed in order to suit the needs of all. I’m not saying this is WRONG, but I am in the position to make a different choice for my kids.

And so, we inch closer…

My last remaining real concern about whether or not to choose the homeschooling option is that I would like to find a situation in which we do not have to divorce ourselves completely from our home school. We love our school community, and we’d like to stay a part of it to some degree. Fisher has expressed an interest in doing his related arts at school and everything else at home, so that he can see his friends regularly during the day . We’d also like them to be able to participate in the Spelling Bee (which I actually run, and would continue to do so if we were able to keep connected to the school) and social events such as the back to school party and year-end events. As they get older I’d like for them to be able to participate in sports & the arts (that is, if they don’t decide to return to public school).

Our school is in transition right now, and we don’t really have a principal I can approach with questions about this. I did talk to an administrator this morning who said this is an option, but I am waiting for a call back with more detailed information.

Last night I attended an information session for the Ohio Virtual Academy. There’s a lot to like about this option, particularly as a transition from brick & mortar school to schooling at home. The only problem is that it is an Ohio Public School, which I believe may render us ineligible from participating in our local school, since attending this school would pull funding from our own district. I do not like this idea at all. I am a supporter (and product of!) our local school district and want to continue our relationship with it. I have no negative feelings at all toward our schools, I just want the freedom to do more efficient & experiential learning, and to be more closely involved with my childrens’ education on a daily basis.

OHVA uses the k12 curriculum, and while there is the option of purchasing the curriculum and using it independently without enrolling in a public school, it is super pricy, and therefore not a viable option.

Right now I am looking at the Time4Learning curriculum. It is internet-based, and would give much of the structure we’d get from OHVA but with more freedom, flexibility, and the opportunity to still participate somewhat in activities at our home school.

I know I have a lot of unschooling friends who do not believe that a curriculum is necessary, and I don’t dismiss that idea. But I think for us (at least starting out), it’s the best way to go. I need and enjoy structure (as does at least one of my kiddos), and I think the leap will feel a little less scary if I feel like we’ve got a landing pad beneath us.

I am open to more suggestions for structured curriculum. It is very difficult to wade through the many MANY options that are out there. I’m meeting with a friend today, and will find out what she is using. I was really encouraged by the brief conversation with the administrative offices of our school this morning, and have hope that I will be able to come up with a plan that satisfies the wants and needs of the whole family.

Been thinking about coming back to this blog and writing a bit. I get frustrated when there’s something I want to say that’s too long for Twitter but I don’t necessarily want to force on everyone over at Facebook. I prefer this more “read if you want” kind of environment.

Right now I’m in the throes of trying to decide if we want to homeschool next year. I’m not one to make decisions without researching them to death (I guess this is a good thing, right?) so that’s what I’m doing. I also find that once I begin to research something my ideas often begin to move in a direction that makes it difficult to rewind. By that I mean I come to a point where I feel like I’d be making a mistake to not continue in this direction. This has served me well in the past, but this is a pretty scary leap for me to make. From my research, though, most homeschoolers who have left public school after a number of years experience this, and the advice is to “just do it”. I definitely don’t want to be the person who stays on the safe and easy path, because I think most of life’s amazing moments happen when you step outside of your comfort zone.

In any case, both of my boys are very excited about the idea. Of course, they are 6 and 9 and although I definitely want to respect their opinions I am keeping in mind that they may not fully grasp the reality of what it means. My 6 year old has never particularly enjoyed school. My 9 year old has always enjoyed it, but I am starting to see ways in which it is wearing him down. He has a wonderful teacher he adores, a sweet and amazing group of friends, and is STILL saying he doesn’t want to go to school.

He is also very VERY much like me, and I had the same experience. People always seem so concerned about the social lives of homeschooled kids, but one of my biggest problems growing up was that that trying to learn at school felt like a distraction from my social life. From about 9 all the way through high school and even college, I was just really turned off to the learning process. I have come back to it and LOVE it now, but as a young person I really struggled with balancing learning & socializing. My experience, research & instinct tells me that this would likely be a VERY good change for my super-social kid.

I really think that for some very social kids, it can be beneficial to have learning time separate from social time.  Both of my boys have tons of friends that they spend time with after school and on the weekends, as well as sports & extracurricular activities. None of that would change by leaving school.

There are, of course, other reasons that I am considering this. Primarily, I really hate being so disconnected from what the kids are learning at school. We do a lot of talking/explaining/intellectualizing at home anyway, but I think it is difficult to really supplement their education after long, busy school days and homework every night.

The fact is, I am confident that I could be VERY GOOD at this. Actually, I can’t think of much I believe I’d be better at than this. I realize it may sound a bit like I’m doing this for me, but the fact is that this seed was planted years ago – before either of my boys entered school. I didn’t consider it right out of the gate because honestly, I was mentally and physically drained from years of raising tiny people. Now that they are older and more independent, I don’t need and crave the solid chunks of time away like I did when they were young and highly needy.  So as they’ve grown older, the seed has taken root and I feel like I’ve reached a point where I would be blatantly ignoring my conscience by not at least seriously examining this idea.

So, that’s what’s happening with us. Feel free to send your homeschooling friends my way to share their 2 cents!